Aging advice from sage golfer
Andy HALL Special to Florida Weekly

Having played this silly game for several decades, I'm always looking for good advice on how to get better, where to find the miracle club that solves all problems, and how best to confidently win at course management and strategy.

I've tried a variety of golf instruction, practice gadgets, swing developers, and magic magnets all designed to make me hit farther, aim better, and focus more on achieving that perfectly consistent game golfers relentlessly seek. But, somehow, I seem to just miss finding the secret to golf nirvana.

Recently, I played a round with a friend who has been stroking the small white ball for well over a half century, and knew if anyone had the secret, it would be Norm. He's been playing this game since woods were actually made of the stuff, and before golf carts were considered novelties on the course.

Expecting him to relate golf's secret in one pithy statement prior to teeing off, I waited for something like, "practice seven hours a day, play par-5s like par-4s, read books that include quotes by Bobby Jones, and never throw a club in anger." I was wrong, he provided more than I expected, and possibly the secret I was seeking.

Norm's observations on golf and life were delivered as we played nine holes together.

Laugh a lot. It's just a game.

It's not the equipment, but the player using it that makes the difference.

Technology helps, but it still comes down to the person swinging the club.

Golf rewards the player with the fewest strokes, so hit less of them.

Laugh a lot. It relieves tension.

You hit more strokes within 100 yards of the green. Practice your short game.

Games are won on the green. Learn how to putt, then do it less often than the other guy.

You don't hit the ball as far when you get older, so hit straighter.

If your game sucks, get lessons. If your health sucks, get a second opinion.

Laugh a lot. You'll enjoy everything more.

If you can't get the ball in the air, get it to roll. No one cares how it got to where it stopped.

Keep the score. Only one person gets to tell the story, and it ought to be you.

The handicap makes golfers equal. The eraser makes them better.

Try to play with people you like. It takes four hours to play a round.

Laugh a lot. Especially, if you're a lifelong Michigan fan like me.

One day you'll play your best round ever. Then you'll never be as good again - ever.

Take lessons if you think it will help. Take a vacation - that always helps.

Stay sober while playing. But, if you do drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.

Found balls almost always play as well as purchased balls.

Laugh a lot. You may not play better, but it doesn't bother you as much.

Use sunscreen and bug repellant in the morning. Use Jack Daniels and water in the afternoon.

Learn to appreciate the game. I appreciate it when my opponent is in the sand, water and rough.

Oh yeah, practice seven hours a day, play par-5s like par-4s, read books that include quotes by Bobby Jones and never throw your club in anger. Dispose of the errant stick at the next available garbage receptacle.

My friend Norm plays the game he loves as he recovers from health problems, while wryly dispensing fairway wisdom drawn from years of golf experience. He's lost a few yards on his drive over the years, but his sense of the sport and zest for life make me understand why we play this silly game.

Laugh a lot. Like golf, life should be fun. ¦